Friday, December 14, 2012

For Christmas I would like some nookie, dear husb.

But failing that, I have put down a few fanciful thoughts.

Let see now, possibly a device where you press a button and your hair fundamentally changes nature for ever, from say, frizzy and thick as a hedge, to say, pretty much anything else.  I am a bit sick of hedging.

Alternately, another device with a slightly larger button where when you press it every person in a position of power in the world has a startling perspective change and stops focussing on the aggregation of power and instead considers what could may be done to help those in need, possibly by trusting and working with others in power.  It might need to be a big button.*

A small feathery miscellaneous thingie that inexplicably reminds you of baby ducks or sleepy kittens or furry rocks** and makes you smile and feel calm whenever your gaze falls upon it.

A mute button for children, or better yet, a freeze frame that you can leave on for, say, a long weekend without causing damage. 

A big pile of funny books.   I am taking a Wodehouse and "Lets Pretend It Never Happened" on holiday so if I should die of an asthma attack brought on by laughing, know that I died happy.  Mind you,  I am also taking several Graham Greene books so possibly I could read an antidote before I cark it.

A device that inexplicably tempts the cat to insert each of her four feet as she passes through the laundry, whereupon each paw is gently cleaned and dried, guarenteed to remove grit, burrs and mulberry stains.

More gin and a stack of limes. 

All we need now is ice and tonic and Bob's your Auntie Jean.

*Reading this back later I feel like a beauty contestant playing the "world peace" card but with better adjectives and less pertness.

** The rock thing was my husband's suggestion - I have no idea what it signifies - nobody ask a Freudianist.

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